Marathon #5: Part I

I’m back! I have been meaning to write this latest post for about two weeks now, but I’m going to have to chalk it up to technical difficulties and leave it at that. The good news, or bad news depending on how you look at it, I have a lot more to write about now… so we’re going to have to break this up into two parts.

Seventeen days ago I finished my 5^th marathon in 4:58:44. It didn’t go as planned, and I didn’t meet my goal time, but I had a whole lot of fun. For about 20 miles I was running with a huge smile on my face. At mile 20 the pain set in, and for 6 miles I pushed through possibly the worst cramping I’ve felt since Lucia was born. I can’t really say that I hit the wall at mile 20. I’ve hit the wall before, and I know what it feels like, and this wasn’t it. This was different.

I’ve had almost three weeks to reflect on what happened throughout those long 26.2 miles. Believe me I have analyzed, over-analyzed, every single step. After the initial moment of triumph that I felt when I saw Jason holding Lucia up in the air to see me cross the finish line I have to admit, I beat myself up a little. I made so many rookie mistakes.

I had a game plan. I was going to run the first 2 miles slow, at an 11:00 minute pace (that wouldn’t be too hard, the start is always slow, you’re moving around people and passing all the walkers). Then I would speed up to a 10:30 pace up until about mile 5, and run a 10:15 until about mile 10. Then I planned to speed up to a 10:00 mile at least until the half and try to maintain that as long as I could. It was a great plan, so why didn’t I follow it?

I ran the first two miles pretty slow. And as planned, at mile 2 I started to pick it up. The problem was, I picked it up a little too much. I glanced down at my Garmin at about mile 6 and all of a sudden I was running almost a 9 minute mile. I thought that it was a mistake, and my watch was just being goofy for a second, but that wasn’t the case. Mistake #1: I didn’t slow down. I felt great, I felt wonderful, I felt unstoppable. I saw my Dad and my grandmother a little bit before the 10 mile marker and my Dad shouted “You’re doing great Deborah, you’re doing great.” I smiled, shouted that “I feel awesome!!!!” and sped up a little more as we entered the Magic Kingdom. The whole time I’m thinking, “Man, not only am I going to make my goal time, but I’m going to blow my PR out of the water.” So I kept speeding up, and I kept a good stride. At about mile 12 my legs started to feel really tight. Mistake #2: I didn’t stop to stretch. I kept on going, my legs kept getting tighter, I didn’t want to stop, and I was determined to get my PR (remember a month ago I wasn’t even going to try beat my PR). So slowing down to do something as silly as stretching, hah, that was for amateurs. At the half way mark I saw my fan club again. Dad had some cold orange slices for me, so I stopped to fuel up a bit and told him that I was starting to feel tight. “You’re way ahead of the 4:30 pace group, if they pass you, just tuck in behind them and get comfortable and just cruise your way to the finish, it’s all heart now.” Great advice, seriously, I’m not being sarcastic here. But, the 4:30 pace group, could I do it? Mistake #3: I started to doubt myself. The mind games began. I had run the half in under 2:15. When I crossed the check-point I was on pace to finish at 4:29… plenty of room to play with, at least enough to make my 4:45 goal. Yeah, in 2 miles I went from “determined to get my PR” to easily making my goal. So I kept going, I knew I was slowing down, but the 4:30 pace group hadn’t caught up to me yet. At about mile 15 I really started to feel my legs giving up. The 4:30 pace group had passed me. Cardiovascularly I was fine, I wasn’t even breathing hard. But my legs, my best assets, my strongest parts, were betraying me. I kept making deals with myself, I’d tell myself that if I could run to the next water stop I would get a minute break to walk. That soon changed to, run a mile, walk a minute. And then finally run 5 minutes, walk a minute. At mile 20 as we were coming up on a small hill, my hamstrings just stopped working. This terrible sharp pain shot right up into my lower back and I could not bend my legs. I was done. Mistake #4: I gave up. I got scared. Yeah, I had done the training, finished all my long runs, and I had done this many many many times before... I still got scared. This was my 5^th marathon, but this was my first marathon as a Mommy. For four months of training I refused to let that be an excuse, for four months I looked past the extra weight I was carrying, the joint pain, and the clumsiness that just didn’t go away once my belly was gone like I thought it would. But, in the end all of that was enough to freak me out. Whether I like it or not, there are inevitable physiological changes that happen to a woman when she has a baby, and while it is completely possible to run a marathon 6 months after giving birth, I was kidding myself to think that it wouldn’t be a different experience. My hips are larger, my core musculature isn’t quite back to normal yet, and there is a lot more on my mind now when I run (after all, I am a Mom). And all of these things can have an enormous effect on performance.

So while, I’ve been beating myself up about my time, I still feel like I accomplished something really great. It’s time now to look at the bright side of things. Like Lucia saw me run a marathon as a six month old (In Disney World none-the-less). It wasn’t my best time, but it wasn’t my slowest. It was only 20 seconds slower than the last marathon I finished before I got pregnant (when I was 5 lbs lighter than I am now). I escaped the whole endevour injury free (after a few days of ice, tylenol, and rest). I am still running. I am still shrinking (4 lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight, 15 lbs away from my goal). I’ve got another marathon coming up in May. And Lucia saw me run a marathon! Wait did I mention that already…

Part Deux coming soon

DISNEY!

It’s been a while since my last post. I had every intention of keeping up with weekly entries about this whole marathon process but as Lucia gets older, the less time I have. On Sunday she will be 6 months old and on Sunday I will complete my first full marathon since May 2009.

While I haven’t been keeping up with my blog, I have been keeping up with my training, and I AM READY! Tonight I finished my last “real run” before the race. I ran a quick little three miler and plan on jogging one or two miles on Saturday just to keep my legs loose. I’ve been tapering for about 3 weeks now and I feel really energized. These short runs don’t even phase me now.

Three weeks ago I ran twenty miles in 3 hours and 35 minutes. Not too shabbyJ! Jason met me with some orange G2 gatorade after my run and was surprised that I wasn’t even breathing hard. He got on my case and told me I wasn’t pushing myself hard enough, and he was probably right. See, when I began training for my post-baby comeback race I automatically set a goal to finish the race in 4 hours and 45 minutes. I kept telling myself to take it easy, and I took things pretty slow in the beginning. With time I got stronger and naturally got faster. Losing a little bit of weight also helped shave a few seconds off my mile time too. But when it came down to the last half of my training schedule, I’ll admit that I phoned it in a little.

Most experts will say that its okay to take it slow, especially when you’re training for an endurance event. Hal Higdon will tell you its all about the mileage; It’s simple, you run the miles, do the training program, and you’ll run a good race. But if you want to get faster, you have to run faster.

I’m pretty confident I can make my 4:45 goal, and now I’m wishing that I set my standards a little higher. I’m trying to tell myself not to be dissapointed with anything less than 4:45, but as competitive as I am, I’m finding it really hard to fight the urge to take-off fast and aim for a 4:30 pace.

So, to help me fight that urge to run fast, there is already another marathon in the works. With the support of my family and friends, I’ll be running my second marathon of the year in Buffalo, NY on May 29^th. If I don’t set personal record at Disney, I will most definitely have a personal best in May. But, for now, let’s focus on Disney!

FOUR MORE DAYS! In four more days I’ll be hitting the pavement again alongside thousands of other runners just like me who spent hundreds of early morning, late night, and lunch time hours running. Some will run faster than me, some will run slower, and some will run right by my side matching every breath and every step for approximately 285 minutes. While I will admire everyone who finishes the race, I will be sending some extra good vibes to my fellow mommies who will be running this thing with me. Running in itself is hard, but being a mother runner, that’s really hard!

I have friends that ask me how I do it. A lot of people can’t understand how I find the time. To be honest, in the beginning, I didn’t really know if I would have the time. Lucia has always been my number one priority, and running will forever be a distant second to her. But the time I spent running in the past few months is easily justifiable when I think about the kind of example I am setting for her. I love her so much and as I have said before in my blogs, she is the best inspiration anyone could have! But, aside from my daughter there is one more person who has kept me going. Well, “kept me going” is probably an understatement. I mentioned before that when I finished my 20 miler Jason was waiting for me with a gatorade and was a little dissapointed with my effort. “You ran that in 3:35? You’re not even tired! You’re not pushing yourself enough, you can work harder, you can run faster than that!” Most women would have been insulted by his comments. I wasn’t, deep down I knew that I could have run faster. That’s the beauty of our relationship. He pushes me! So, how do I have the time to do it?… I have a very supportive, patient, and motivating husband. When I would take off on three hour runs on Sunday mornings, Jason would watch the baby. He would take care of everything. He would bring the baby out to the front porch to cheer me on when I was lapping the neighborhood or hold her by the treadmill so I could give her a kiss mid-run. One morning he made me a cinnamon coffee crumble cake for my post-run breakfast (impressive right, even if it was out of a box). I could not have done any of this without him.

So, here we go! Disney Marathon weekend is here. When I ran my first marathon in 2007, I ran for me. On Sunday I will be running for Lucia, and when I cross the finish line I’ll hang the Mickey Mouse medal over her head and we’ll celebrate her 6 month birthday. On Sunday I will be running for Jason, and thanking God every step of the way for giving me such a wonderful husband. On Sunday I will be running for us, running for our little family, and looking forward to all of the events (athletic and non-athletic) that we will share with each other in the future. I love you Jason and Lucia! WE’RE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!