I haven’t been keeping up with my blog lately, in fact I’ve just been trying to keep up with life. I just started working again full time, and this week was Lucia’s first in daycare. As expected, everything went as planned, Lucia did wonderfully, I made it through the week, and like most Mommies, crashed into a deep sleep once the week was over. Lucia is still magically sleeping through the night which makes everything tremendously easier.
Surprisingly enough I have been able to keep up with my running. It’s my fifth week of training for the Disney Marathon and I was able to pull off a 3 mile, 5 mile, and 3 mile run this week, all while trying to fight off a cold. On Sunday I have to run 10 miles, again, the furthest I’ve run in almost a year. I’ve had to run on the treadmill a lot so that I can make sure to watch the baby at the same time, but I am finally starting to feel good and I am keeping a steady 10 minute mile pace. Lucia still smiles as she watches me run and go nowhere, and when she gets bored she plays in her gym right next to me.
My first day back at work went pretty smoothly, and as the week progressed I knew that being a working mom would be tough, but completely worth it. While I love my child more than anything in this world, I love my job too. By Wednesday, however, the guilt started to kick in. I work in both the pediatric and orthopedic settings, but pediatrics is my passion and I love working with children with special needs. I love my little kiddos at work, but I have days when I feel bad that I’m looking after other people’s children when my own child is across the street being looked after by someone else. So in a moment of weakness, and after my 12:45 patient cancelled, I emailed my Dad (yes, I’m 27 years old and I still run to Daddy when the going gets tough, I hope Lucia will be the same way with Jason) to vent my frustrations. Like always, my Dad has the best advice. In his reply email he wrote two things that he has told me before, and I need to always remember; “As I've always told you, you CAN have it all -- you just have to work harder to make it all come together,” and “You will do fine, and you will be a great Mother -- you have a great example!”
I’ll tackle the latter statement first. I do have a great example. My mom is truly the quintessential “Super Mom.” When we were young my Mom was a teacher, a Department of Defense award winning teacher actually. She too took care of other children while someone else watched my brother and I. My Mom loved her students, and she poured her heart and soul into teaching. When I look back on my childhood I never once felt neglected, or like Mom never spent time with us. In fact I felt really lucky to be the daughter of everyone’s favorite teacher. Most importantly, my Mom made the time that she did spend with us count, whether it was dressing me up like a princess, carting me to t-ball, or shopping in Itaewon for big huge stuffed animals. My mom was/is the best. Not only is she a good example of a mother, but she is a good example of a person. I used to be insulted when someone would tell me I was just like my mother, now I take it as a compliment. Sometimes Jason will catch me doing something just like she does and says “You are JUST like her.” And I just look at him, smile, and say, “Well, then you are one lucky guy!” I love you Mom, when I run like a mother, I think of all the things you have sacrificed for me, thank you for everything that you have done, and everything you continue to do for me and our family.
Now, back to my Dad. It’s true. He has always told me that I can have it all. And at times, I have found that hard to believe. But if there is anyone who knows about “having it all” it’s my Dad. If you know my Dad you know that there is nothing he does that he doesn’t put 100% of his entire being into. Everything he has ever set his mind to, he has done. For example, he used to tell me that when he was a little boy his goal was to conquer the world. He is now a thriving international business man, has been for over 20 years, and continues to travel all over the world kicking butt and taking names. For lack of a better term my Dad is a “bad-ass.” The best thing about my Dad is that on his way to the top, he was always a father and a husband before anything else. And every once in a while, Dad took time for himself too.
When we lived in Spain my Dad started training for his first marathon. He would get up and run early in the morning before anyone else woke up so that his running wouldn’t take away any time from being with his family. I was 16 years old when I saw him cross the finish line of the Madrid Marathon, and I was so proud. He was a machine.
Years came and went, and in 2007 my Dad started training again. Coincidentally that was the year I ran my first marathon. I remember my Dad joining me at mile 19. There was a hill called the Calvert climb in DC and up until that point I had run the entire race only stopping at water stations. That hill broke me down! But my Dad helped me push through it. For the next 6 miles he ran by my side and helped me push through it. Whether it was his usual words of wisdom, or a kick in the butt, he pushed me. About 400 yards away from the finish line my Dad left the course and let me finish the race on my own. “Finish strong,” he said. It felt like I sprinted all the way to end, and when I crossed the finish line I was on such an adrenaline high that I felt like I could have run 2 or 3 more miles. I frantically started looking for my family and friends who had come to cheer me on. I found my grandparents first, hugged them and assured them that I was not dying:) Then my Mom, who was crying, made me get a little teary. Then my Dad finally made his way through the crowd. And of course, like Daddy’s little girl, I started bawling. He wrapped me up in that tin foil looking blanket they hand you at the end of the race, hugged me, and said “Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do something, you can do anything you put your mind to.”
To my parents: Thank you for teaching me the importance of hard work, making me the person who I am, a decent wife (I hope), and good mother… and helping me be a better runner too. Let’s conquer Chicago this weekend… then it’s onto Boston in the Spring!!!!
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