Busy Busy Bee

On Monday my daughter proved to me that she can identify the bee that hangs from her activity center. If I say "Where's the bee?" and I go "bzzzzzz" she quickly turns around and grabs at it and attempts to make a "bah" sound. She is starting to identify a lot of objects actually. She points to the ceiling when I ask "Where is the fan?" and goes on a frantic search for her stuffed kitty when I say "Where is the cat." In fact, she said "cat" before she started to say "Ma-ma"... of course, "Da-da" was the first thing out of her mouth a few months ago. But, I find it funny that this week, of all weeks, she learned how about her bumble bee.

I have felt completely overwhelmed by everything in my life lately . While I know that I have been tremendously blessed with a wonderful daughter, a great husband, and a fantastic family, sometimes things just get tough.

We have a had a lot of things come up in the past month. I can't really get into all the details quite yet, but it involves us relocating once again. Yep, we will be on the move shortly, we know where to, we know approximately when, and we know that most likely I will be making the move by myself with Lucia a few months before Jason can join us. Once we know all the specifics, we will be sure to let everyone know about it, but this is a good, good, good thing, especially for my husband's career! And moving to a bigger city with a world-renowned hospital will be wonderful for my career! But, planning a move with a 10 month old can get to be a little hectic.

So. I have been a busy busy busy bee lately... busy at home, busy at work, and busy with my running. The Friday before Mother's Day I completely broke down, I guess I was just having one of those days, and I kept wishing for more time so I could get more accomplished. I felt like I was being pulled in too many directions... like I was just keeping my head above the water. It's ot nenough for me to be just fine. It isn't okay that I am a fine mother, a fine therapist, a fine wife, and a fine runner. I want to be a great mother, and great therapist, a great wife, and a great runner...and sometimes, more often than not, that just seems impossible.

On Mother's Day I ran 20 miles in 85 degree weather (I think that for the last few miles it was closer to 90 degrees). I purposely ran without my ipod so I could just take in everything my run had to offer. I let my thoughts run wild, and I tried to make sense of everything. In the 3 hours and 26 minutes that it took me to run the 20 miles, I went through every emotion possible. When I got home, even with my slow time, I was happy. I worked everything out, and I was ready to take on all that these next few months are promising to bring us. And then...I got sick...

20 miles in that weather had completely depleted me. I was totally dehydrated, and even though I made sure to drink every two to three miles in the first 10 miles, and every mile thereafter, I just could not keep up with my body's demands. So for the rest of my Mother's Day I was curled up in a ball in bed. Jason brought Lucia up to nap with me, which was just as pefect as a Mother's Day can get, but I was feeling terrible. Lucia wasn't feeling so hot either... she'd been battling another ear infection (looks like we may have to have some tubes put in soon) and on top of that her pediatrician had just put her on allergy medicine(pretty common down in these parts...another reason to add to the list of why I am excited about moving. So, I had to make sure I could take care of her too. By that evening I was feeling better, I could eat again, my pounding headache was gone and I was ready to go celebrate Mother's Day!

We went out for a quick dinner and then came home to put Lucia in bed. She went down pretty quickly... thanks to the antihistamines I guess. But at about midnight she was having her coughing fits again. We took turns staying up with her and somehow made it through the night feeling at least a little rested.

I wasn't even sore the next day, which tells me that I may have been able to push myself a little harder, although that probably wouldn't have been the smartest thing to do. After a busy day of work I was looking forward to heading home and going to bed early with the baby, which is basically what happened, well except for another coughing fit we had to deal with at 1am. This time she coughed so much that she threw up all over the place. Jason grabbed her and took to her to go get a bath while I frantically was trying to clean up her blankets, sheets, and grab a new diaper and towel for when she got out. I ran into her room to grab a diaper and tripped and fell into Lucia's toychest. I knew instantly that I hurt myself pretty badly, and I was screaming involuntarily. I waited for the pain in my foot to subside, but it didn't. I knew that it was more than just a stubbed toe. Still, when I caught my breath and stopped screaming, I walked it off, finished cleaning up the baby, and tried to get her back to sleep, which didn't happen until about 4am.

The next morning I was working the orthopedic clinic and it was obvious to everybody that I had a terrible limp. Our radiology tech told me that she could x-ray my foot if I wanted, and after I refused a few times, I agreed. I knew what was going to show up on the x-ray. You guessed it, a broken toe. In the same foot there was also a small stress fracture (also something I suspected, but unrelated to the events the night before). So, we buddy taped my toes together, and I wrapped my foot up with some ice and went on with the day. Of course, I was a little upset, but I already had decided before the x-ray that I was going to run my race anyway. And I will.

In two weeks I will run my 6th marathon, and when I return after completing it my husband and I are in for a busy few months. So, what will I do?... I will continue to be a busy busy bee, and I will try not to complain about it too much. I've got to fly from one flower to the next, and not look back. Truthfully, a busy bee is all I know how to be, it's a survival mechanism I guess.

Marathon #6...here I go, ready or not.