To say I have been a "negative Nancy" as of late (I guess to perfect term would be a "Debbie downer."), would completely downplaying my recent behavior. About two weeks ago I think I hit my yearly breaking point, which is pretty typical for me right before the holidays. You know, that point where you feel like you just can't do or give any more. The point at which you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, but you are not sure why. When you want to be completely alone, and at the same you're afraid to be by yourself. Yeah, that was me. I lashed out by posting "poor pity me" comments on facebook which caused the important people in my life to worry when there really wasn't anything to worry about. And in the end, I just needed to cry it out, and then run it out. Sometimes a good cry is really what you need. And once I cried, and cried and cried and cried, and yelled at Jason a little, I was over it. I hit the treadmill for a little 3 mile run once I put Lucia to bed, and decided that I just needed to pick myself back up, change my attitude, and get a freakin' grip.
The problem was that my "hallelujah" moment came a little too late, and sure enough, before I knew it, my Mom was on her way back from China, a month earlier than planned. Partly because of my little rant on facebook, and partly because she just wanted to get back home and get a head start on the holiday shopping and decorating. I felt really guilty about it at first. I did need to vent, but this is perfect example of why a social networking site isn't the right forum for it. Yeah, life gets tough as full-time working parents. It not all peaches and cream. There are highs, and there are lows, really low lows sometimes. But we're not the first parents to do it, in fact sometimes we just need to sit back and count our blessings, because we actually have it pretty good (and that is understatement). So as I said, I did feel a little guilty that my comments were enough to drive my Mom to hop on an unplanned 14 hr flight across the Pacific ocean, but there was no talking her out of it;)
Mom has been back in Winston-Salem for a week now, and while it is always great to have her around, this time it's been extra special. See, the family has been getting ready for Disney marathon weekend coming up in January. My father, Jason, and I are running the Goofy challenge which will add up to almost 40 miles in two days. My mom will be running the Donald Duck 1/2 marathon. My job will be to get her through it, and get her through it fast.
Mom has got some legs. Awesome legs. Fortunately, I got those genes. I love my legs, I love her legs. My mom is almost 52 years old, and even without all the running or training that I do as a twenty-something chica, she still has those lean, mean, power legs.
She had a long run to do today, 6 miles. I needed to do 10 miles, so I took off for four, the looped back to my parents house to pick her up. I tried to do my best to run at her pace. When I took off for my 4 miler I was averaging between 8:54 and 9:02 min/mile. With Mom, we tried to stay at an 11:00 min/mile. We did pretty well for her first 3 miles, but then the hills started to take toll on her, not on her body, not on her legs, but on her mind. I had to kick it into trainer mode, and at one point I got pretty mean with her, but she finished strong picked up her pace for the last mile (which was all uphill), and she finished in a respectable 1:14:00, which is just a little over a 12 min/mile pace, which is great for a beginner runner, a grandmother might I add.
The awesome part about it, I did it with her. I'm going to be doing a 1/2 marathon with my Mom. How cool is that? I know a lot of people don't think it's such a big deal, but it is. The truth is, and the reason I wrote this blog entry tonight is, I can't help but think about my family members or friends who have lost their mothers, fathers, or a loved one. My family members, or friends who are battling illnesses, cancer, or those who know someone who is. I am so blessed that my Mom is here with me, and healthy, and fit. And when we cross the finish line at Disney holding hands, in our little princess tutu's and tiaras, we will laugh and cry. And we will remember those who have passed, and those that are still fighting to live. We will remember those who want to run but can't, those who would give anything to cross the finish line with their mother or father, sister or brother, or dear friend. We will be running together, for those who can't... not to prove a point, or bask in the glory of another endurance race, but to just enjoy each other as a family, to enjoy each other as mother and daughter, as best friends. It's just something you can't take for granted.
Yeah, I went through my "negative Nancy" stage. And to be honest, it's quite embarrassing. All the "small stuff" that I was sweating, all seems so trivial right now. Everyone needs a reality check sometimes, and I got mine. It's time to focus on the positive. Time to bring back the magic! And where is the most magical place on earth? Disney World! Can't wait for the race with my Mom.

Lucky Number Seven

To say that I have been busy since the last time I blogged would be an understatement. I was using these blurbs on running and family as a way to creatively vent and relieve some stress. But, lately, other than running, sleep has been the only thing on my mind and the only real way to relieve stress.

Since you last heard from me I have:
1) Moved to Winston-Salem.
2) Celebrated Lucia's first birthday.
3) Celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary with a second honeymoon in Jamaica
4) Started a new job.
5) Accepted new responsibilities within two months of starting my new job and moved a little higher up in the pediatric world of physical therapy.
6) Lost 10 more pounds, although you can still tell that I recently (sort of) had a baby.
7) Somehow acquired IT band syndrome.
8) Been house hunting, and may have found the perfect one.
9) Lost a few years off my life when Lucia had her first "trip" to the ER.

Yep, life is good. Now my IT band syndrome, not so good. While I have been keeping consistent with my training runs, and ramping up adequately during the week to longer mileage, I haven't allowed my body sufficient time to recover. You would think that a 3-day running program would allow you enough rest, but that training plan didn't take into account that I am also on my feet all day.

I accepted a job with Wake Forest University Baptist hospital. Originally I was slated to on the pediatric team, but as I soon found out, the pediatric program was being revamped. It was a bit scary at first because I accepted this job originally to move towards practicing predominantly with kids 0-21 years of age, where as before I was working with adults occasionally. But after being oriented to the NICU I was named the lead therapist for pediatric floors at Brenner Children's hospital. My co-worker, who has become a great friend and wonderful mentor, is the lead therapist in the NICU. Now, this has proven to be the PERFECT opportunity for me, but being the lead therapist for the floors means that I have to cover a lot of ground. I see patients with varying diagnoses, on various floors, and with varying degrees of complications. It also means that I have to learn how to delegate. But we'll get to that another time. Anyway, I found that with my new perfect job, comes a few bumps, a few bruises, lots of running around, lots of standing, lots of time spent networking and rubbing elbows with surgeons, residents and medical students, and a severe lack of sleep, not to mention a severe lack of Mommy and Lucia time. It was really hard adjusting at first, but like anything else it has been worth it. No matter what I will never think I get to spend enough time with my daughter. I just know that we take advantage of the time we do have together, and I trust those who take care of her when she's not with me. As far as time for my body o recover, well, that kind of gets put on the back burner.

Lucia is flourishing, I know I am biased, but she is so smart. I can go on and on with stories of how she asserts her independence, shows her personality, communicates with her body, but this is already getting long, and totally off topic. I will say however, that since those baby steps that I was waiting so eagerly for, Lucia has quickly learned how to pick up some speed, and boy does she ever love to run (or try to run). She loves to run so much that at school one day she got excited and ran towards her teacher with her arms outstretched, and tripped and fell head first into the corner of a cubby. Needless to say that this Mommy was FREAKING out and very quickly went into clinician mode which I'm sure annoyed most of her teachers. After quick trip to the ER (Shout out to Brenner's Children's Pediatric ER, the only level I pediatric trauma unit in the region) everything checked out fine, and we were discharged home with concussion precautions, no stitches, and just a big goose egg on her forehead. Do you like my plug for my hospital, it's not like they pay me or anything;) I really thought my little princess was going to be a girly girl, but seriously she is as tough as nails, and while a lot can change, I am pretty certain she is going to be a little athlete (and trust me, not because I will push-it, but because this child needs a way to release all that energy).

So back to the IT band issue. Yes, BAD BAD BAD. I have being seeing a physical therapist and I have also been getting massages from a guy who worked on my Dad's Achilles tendinitis when he trained for the Baltimore marathon. Since I started seeing him, I have noticed a difference, but the pain is still there. I know I can get through about 11 miles without the pain being excruciating, but two weeks ago I ran a 20 miler and had to run the last 9 miles by walking a minute and running a minute. BORING, but the pain was so bad it was the only way I could get through it. I've tried the IT band strap, but it actually made it hurt worse. My friends at Fleet Feet set me up with a foam roller and an awesome stretching routine that worked much better, and of course my PT endorses the whole foam roller thing as well. I really don't know why I had never used one in the past. I made it through 6 miles on Sunday without any pain at all, but today I ran 3 and just as I was finishing up, the pain started up. So we will see what happens. My plan is to run hard for the first half and then fight my way through the rest. This is a terrible terrible strategy, but the only reason I am doing it is because I know my hip/knee won't hold up for the entire race, so I need to get the speed while I can. This is my 7th marathon so I'm hoping luck is on my side this time. The plan for after the race, REST. I won't be running the Raleigh City of Oaks marathon because I need to get healthy for the Goofy Challenge in January (This will be the first time that I have gone more than 4 days without running since I started exercising again after Lucia was born).

On a more happy note, this will be my husband's first marathon. If you read nothing else in this blog, I hope you read this, because it's the most important part. (So I will bold it to emphasize;)

My husband is a trooper. Not only did he put up with 9 months of a hormonally crazy lady, but he worked hard for almost a year after Lucia was born to allow me to train, allow me to feel like I was normal again, and allow me to be happy. He was and is a constant support system when times get tough, and continues to be my best friend when at times I don't necessarily deserve it. I know a lot of you are saying "well that's what a husband is supposed to do," but Jason really goes above and beyond, and I don't always get a chance to tell him that.

Somehow, by the grace of God, and a little bit (actually ALOTa bit) of help from my grandparents who have watched Lucia every Tuesday and Thursday and occasionally on weekends during our long runs, Jason and I have been able to train to run a marathon together. Now together means we're running the same race, but I fully expect Jason to finish at least a half hour ahead of me, and that's only if I manage to squeeze a PR or something close to it. Words can't express how proud I am of him. He doesn't usually get a lot of credit, and people don't normally peg him as an athlete with his long and lanky physique, but he most certainly is an athlete. He doesn't like to offer up the fact that Lacrosse was his life for many many many years. But all those years of running and running and running in practice (and coaches telling him he could get all the water he needed from the air, true story) has really prepared him for one of the ultimate endurance events. Some people are just naturally good at running, and he is one of them. And I am so jealous! I know that he is doing this race mainly for me, but I am so excited for him. I remember so vividly what it was like to finish my first marathon. It is a feeling that will never be matched. I'm hoping that when he crosses that finish line, his adrenaline will be pumping so hard that he will forget about the pain and realize that, he too, has caught the marathon bug, and that the Inaugural Empire State marathon is only the first of many many marathons that "Team Neves" will run.

By the way N-E-V-E-S, is S-E-V-E-N spelled backwards. My seventh marathon, my last name spells seven backwards, Lucia was born in the seventh month, lucky? Come on, I can use all the luck I can get right now!

Catching up

Well hello there. It has been way too long since my last post, but better late than never right?

It seems like lately "catching up" is all I've been doing. Catching up on my documentation at work, catching up on missed workouts, catching up with my best friend, catching up on time with my daughter because I spent time catching up with my best friend, catching up on packing (not so much), and... well I guess just catching up on life in general.

These past few months have flown by, and I have a feeling these next few months will just take off with lightning speed. We've got the move, a new job, Lucia's first birthday, our anniversary get away in Jamaica 'mon, and then it's off to a wedding in Pennsylvania to finish out the summer. And of course, in between that, there will be running. Lots and lots of running.

So where did we leave off...? Ahhhh, the Buffalo marathon. Not my best, but those of you that follow me already know that. It was a little disappointing, but to be honest, I didn't feel at all defeated like when I ran Disney. In fact, I truly felt it was an accomplishment that I actually finished the race. Yep, my 6th marathon was definitely a doozy, but I'm glad I did. It taught me a lot about my body, about running, and about "smarts." I would really like to dedicate a whole post to the Buffalo marathon, but this isn't it. Right now, I'm just looking forward to lucky number 7!!!

I will be running my 7th marathon on October 16th in Syracuse, New York. I am a little bit worried about it since its an inaugural race, but a marathon is a marathon and it should be cold, and cold weather (no matter how severe) will be welcomed after having sweat through the Memorial Day weekend heat wave in Buffalo this year.

Because of the stress fracture in my foot and my broken toe, I took a fellow physical therapist's advice and tweaked my training regimen to get rid of what she calls the "junk miles." So basically I replace my mid-week run with non-impact cardio. Typically I will do the elliptical, but I have also been adding some swimming and water jogging to the mix. I follow Hal Higdon's "Marathon 3" program, check it out; http://www.halhigdon.com/marathon/novice3intro.htm. So far it has worked out beautifully and I feel great. Barring a weekend wedding planning trip to Cleveland to visit my best friend Gina (realistically an excuse for Gina and I to relive our college days), I haven't skipped a training run. My feet feel great, my toe is doing better but still swells up from time to time, and I am definitely getting faster. I now consistently do my short runs at a 9 min/mile pace or less, and my long runs consistently have been between a 9:15 and 9:25 min/mile pace. The test will come once we move back to North Carolina and I have to battle the rolling hills of Oak Valley. On the positive side, it will be fantastic training, and maybe enough to get me over my mental issue with hills. We shall see...

Lucia is walking... well she has taken up to five steps (independently, without assistance, loss of balance after fifth step with minimum assistance to recover... in PT talk). Two weekends ago I went for a run with my Dad and we saw a younger man and his daughter running the hills of Oak Valley. His daughter looked to be about 9 or 10 and was in wonderful shape. You could tell she was a little athlete, and most importantly you could tell she was enjoying running with her Dad! I thought it was so wonderful that at that young of an age she was out having fun by hitting the pavement. When I was that young, even though I was always involved in sports, running was more of a punishment. I hope that Lucia will see running as treat, and it looks like it won't be too long until we find out exactly what she will think of it. My hunch is that she will love the way she feels when she some speed.

Anyway, in anticipation of a busy busy busy end of the year I have mapped out all my races until March 2012. What does the running queue look like?

Empire Inaugural Marathon Oct 2011- Syracuse New York
City of Oaks Marathon Nov 2011- Raleigh, NC
Disney 1/2 Marathon January 2012- Orlando, FL
Disney Marathon completing the Goofy Challenge January 2012- Orlando, FL
National Marathon March 2012- Washington, DC

My plan is to complete my 10th marathon where I started my first.. in DC!!! The plan after marathon number 10 is to not have a plan:) I just will keep on running, and see where it takes me.

Busy Busy Bee

On Monday my daughter proved to me that she can identify the bee that hangs from her activity center. If I say "Where's the bee?" and I go "bzzzzzz" she quickly turns around and grabs at it and attempts to make a "bah" sound. She is starting to identify a lot of objects actually. She points to the ceiling when I ask "Where is the fan?" and goes on a frantic search for her stuffed kitty when I say "Where is the cat." In fact, she said "cat" before she started to say "Ma-ma"... of course, "Da-da" was the first thing out of her mouth a few months ago. But, I find it funny that this week, of all weeks, she learned how about her bumble bee.

I have felt completely overwhelmed by everything in my life lately . While I know that I have been tremendously blessed with a wonderful daughter, a great husband, and a fantastic family, sometimes things just get tough.

We have a had a lot of things come up in the past month. I can't really get into all the details quite yet, but it involves us relocating once again. Yep, we will be on the move shortly, we know where to, we know approximately when, and we know that most likely I will be making the move by myself with Lucia a few months before Jason can join us. Once we know all the specifics, we will be sure to let everyone know about it, but this is a good, good, good thing, especially for my husband's career! And moving to a bigger city with a world-renowned hospital will be wonderful for my career! But, planning a move with a 10 month old can get to be a little hectic.

So. I have been a busy busy busy bee lately... busy at home, busy at work, and busy with my running. The Friday before Mother's Day I completely broke down, I guess I was just having one of those days, and I kept wishing for more time so I could get more accomplished. I felt like I was being pulled in too many directions... like I was just keeping my head above the water. It's ot nenough for me to be just fine. It isn't okay that I am a fine mother, a fine therapist, a fine wife, and a fine runner. I want to be a great mother, and great therapist, a great wife, and a great runner...and sometimes, more often than not, that just seems impossible.

On Mother's Day I ran 20 miles in 85 degree weather (I think that for the last few miles it was closer to 90 degrees). I purposely ran without my ipod so I could just take in everything my run had to offer. I let my thoughts run wild, and I tried to make sense of everything. In the 3 hours and 26 minutes that it took me to run the 20 miles, I went through every emotion possible. When I got home, even with my slow time, I was happy. I worked everything out, and I was ready to take on all that these next few months are promising to bring us. And then...I got sick...

20 miles in that weather had completely depleted me. I was totally dehydrated, and even though I made sure to drink every two to three miles in the first 10 miles, and every mile thereafter, I just could not keep up with my body's demands. So for the rest of my Mother's Day I was curled up in a ball in bed. Jason brought Lucia up to nap with me, which was just as pefect as a Mother's Day can get, but I was feeling terrible. Lucia wasn't feeling so hot either... she'd been battling another ear infection (looks like we may have to have some tubes put in soon) and on top of that her pediatrician had just put her on allergy medicine(pretty common down in these parts...another reason to add to the list of why I am excited about moving. So, I had to make sure I could take care of her too. By that evening I was feeling better, I could eat again, my pounding headache was gone and I was ready to go celebrate Mother's Day!

We went out for a quick dinner and then came home to put Lucia in bed. She went down pretty quickly... thanks to the antihistamines I guess. But at about midnight she was having her coughing fits again. We took turns staying up with her and somehow made it through the night feeling at least a little rested.

I wasn't even sore the next day, which tells me that I may have been able to push myself a little harder, although that probably wouldn't have been the smartest thing to do. After a busy day of work I was looking forward to heading home and going to bed early with the baby, which is basically what happened, well except for another coughing fit we had to deal with at 1am. This time she coughed so much that she threw up all over the place. Jason grabbed her and took to her to go get a bath while I frantically was trying to clean up her blankets, sheets, and grab a new diaper and towel for when she got out. I ran into her room to grab a diaper and tripped and fell into Lucia's toychest. I knew instantly that I hurt myself pretty badly, and I was screaming involuntarily. I waited for the pain in my foot to subside, but it didn't. I knew that it was more than just a stubbed toe. Still, when I caught my breath and stopped screaming, I walked it off, finished cleaning up the baby, and tried to get her back to sleep, which didn't happen until about 4am.

The next morning I was working the orthopedic clinic and it was obvious to everybody that I had a terrible limp. Our radiology tech told me that she could x-ray my foot if I wanted, and after I refused a few times, I agreed. I knew what was going to show up on the x-ray. You guessed it, a broken toe. In the same foot there was also a small stress fracture (also something I suspected, but unrelated to the events the night before). So, we buddy taped my toes together, and I wrapped my foot up with some ice and went on with the day. Of course, I was a little upset, but I already had decided before the x-ray that I was going to run my race anyway. And I will.

In two weeks I will run my 6th marathon, and when I return after completing it my husband and I are in for a busy few months. So, what will I do?... I will continue to be a busy busy bee, and I will try not to complain about it too much. I've got to fly from one flower to the next, and not look back. Truthfully, a busy bee is all I know how to be, it's a survival mechanism I guess.

Marathon #6...here I go, ready or not.

Numbers

Numbers. With 7 weeks to go until the Buffalo marathon, it is now all about the numbers. I am not a numbers girl... formulas, math, it generally means nothing to me. Normal logic doesn't typically work with me, and when I'm terribly mad or upset, you may describe me as somewhat irrational. My husband, on the other hand, who has his degree in Engineering and Management from a well respected Engineering school in upstate New York, is all about the numbers. He is logical, rational, realistic, and most of the time, makes perfect sense. So, when it comes to running, I try to take his advice and pay attention to the numbers. I hate to turn running into one of the things that I hate most, but when you're running miles on end, knowing the numbers and appreciating the numbers can really make a difference in your confidence and sometimes it can even make a difference in your endurance.

7... 7 weeks until the Buffalo marathon

38... I have run 38 miles total this week, 18 miles this morning.

140... I need to run 140 miles in the next 4 weeks before I can taper.

194... I will log 194 more miles before competing in the marathon on May 29th, 2011

10... Aiming for 10 minute miles in order to reach my goal of 4 hours and 30 minutes. (I actually need to run about a 10:18 min/mile pace)

25... The number of pounds I gained with my pregnancy.

49... About 49 days until the race... a little less.

6...This will be marathon #6 for me.

8...I am now wearing a size 8.

12... I was a size 12 a week after the baby.

3... I go through 3 pairs of shoes for each marathon that I train for (Brooks Adrenalines)

5... The amount of miles I typically run with Lucia during the week, this week I towed her along on an 8 miler.

5.5... It took me about 5.5 months to lose 25 pounds after Lucia was born.

2000...The amount of calories I try to eat in a day (I try not to eat more)

165... My average heart rate on my long runs.

59...My average resting heart rate.

35... To date I have lost 35 pounds, 10 pounds more than what I gained, 9 months post-baby.

9...The number of marathons I will have completed by January 8th, 2012... also the number of marathons I will have completed before Jason and I plan on trying for a little brother or sister for our princess.

2... I've got two more days of rest until I run again.


Numbers... I really don't like numbers.

"I simply remember my favorite things..."

Two months from now I will be running my 6th marathon. Two months to go!

Training is going much better this time around. I managed to do all of my training runs for the Disney Marathon, but I was slow. Now I can finally say I'm getting faster. Today I ran 17 miles in 2:46:13 which is an average pace of 9:47 min/mile. I hit the 13.1 mark at exactly 2 hours and 5 minutes, only 2 minutes slower than my best half marathon time pre-Lucia!

This week I logged 36 miles total, next week I will be up to 38 miles with an 18 mile run on Sunday. That's a lot of miles, and I still have a lot of training left. I have three long runs left; 18 miles, 19 miles, and 20 miles. And while I am so looking forward to tapering in May, I am enjoying running more than ever! But with all the miles I've been running, I need a little bit of help from my favorite things.

Things I can't live without when I'm training for a marathon:
1) My Garmin GPS watch- I had an older version with a touch bezel, but it didn't seem to pace me like my new one. Now I have the Forerunner 310XT, it doesn't have a touch bezel so I can run with it in the rain, and I can sweat on it, and I can probably throw it in the washing machine and it would still keep my pace. It does the perfect job of keeping me on track!

2)My ipod shuffle- On the playlist- Everything from Katy Perry's 'Firework', to The Who's 'Baba O'riley'. But the song that keeps me really moving is 'Come sail away' by Styx.

3)Ballenga socks- Love them, and my feet love them.

4)Orange flavored low-calorie Gatorade- I've always been a big Gatorade fan, definitely my sport drink of choice, but their new products are great! For some reason though, the only flavor I can really stomach is Orange. The fruit punch totally makes me sick, must be the red dye.

5)My treadmill- Seriously, the treadmill is a life safer when you have a small child. I prefer to run outside, but sometimes, I just can't. So when it's too much of a hassel to take Lucia out in her jogger, I can always set her down in the play-pen and hit up the treadmill.

6)My husband- He is the designated treadmill fixer-upper. With as many miles as I run, the treadmill needs to be tweaked about once a month, and he always makes sure it's running well for me. Plus, now he's running (yep, training for the Syracuse Empire marathon in October). I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I couldn't possibly be able to enjoy my favorite hobby without him. He is my number 1 fan and motivator, and I can't thank him enough for that.

7) The alligator that hangs out by the sidewalk on Westbury Park Way at the end of my 6 mile route- I call him Leather-face. Leather-face has been hanging out a little too close to humans ever since the weather has gotten nice. He's a pretty big guy, I'd say about 7-8 feet long, and pretty thick... and he's pretty scary. So when I'm finishing up my route and I hear him hissing at me (yes, gators hiss, well, I guess that's the best way to describe it) I speed up quite a bit. There's nothing like a big gator to trick you into running a negative split. Chomp, chomp.

8)My ipad- I use my ipad for a lot of things having to do with my runs. But my favorite is the Runners World app. Love, love, love it!

9)The Nike outlet store- I can always use more running clothes. I'm a bit partial to the LiveStrong stuff, and they have so many cute new things now. There is nothing glamorous about running, especially marathon running. After finishing 26.2 miles no one looks good, but there's nothing wrong with trying;)

10)Glide- This stuff is literally a running essential. It comes in a deodorant-like stick. You use it on your body, your thighs, underneath your bra, etc. It prevents chaffing. I usually have to use it on my lower back where the tag of my shorts rubs up on me for miles and miles. If I forget a little bit of glide, I pay for it the second I hit the shower, and ooohhhh does it sting.

11)My BOB baby jogger- I can't live without my BOB, I would recommend it to any mother runner (or father runner). When the weather is nice enough, and it fits into Lucia's schedule, I love taking her with me for short 3 to 4 mile runs. She loves it too. I usually make a trip to the playground out of it, so I think she is starting to associate my running with an award (which I guess, can't be a bad thing).

12)My baby- I love my little Lucia. While I get sad thinking about her growing up so fast, I'm getting really excited about the day that she can finally run with me. She is just such an inspiration for me. I do it all for Lucia.

So, these are a few of my favorite things, all of which contribute to the runner that I am. I'm hoping that these favorite things will be enough to help me make it through the next two months, and maybe get that PR that I'm aiming for. I'll let you know how it goes.

Baby Steps

Next week, Lucia will be 9 months old. NINE MONTHS! It's crazy to think that we will soon be celebrating her 1st birthday party, and let me tell you, she is growing up quickly. While she has always been ahead of the curve developmentally (rolling back to belly and belly to back at 3 months, sitting unsupported at 5 months, crawling/scooting at 6 months), I am certainly not ready for those first baby steps that she may soon be taking.

These past few weeks we've been battling colds, ear infections, and the usual coughing spells, but it hasn't slowed her down any, and it hasn't slowed Mommy down either. The quicker Lucia gets, the quicker I get. I get quicker at catching her falls, I get quicker at locking the doors, and latching the drawers, I get quicker at making her laugh, I get quicker at saying "no," and I get quicker on the road. That's right, somehow, I have found the time to get faster, but we'll get to that with a another post later this week.

Lucia is getting stronger, taller, bigger, and smarter, at a rate that I find hard to keep up with, but somehow I'm managing. This past week she perfected her pull-to-stand (and pulling herself up onto everything possible is all she does). While she did it in front of me a few weeks ago, as of Monday she had yet to do it without immediately falling down. On Wednesday my husband called to tell me that her teacher said that she had pulled herself to stand on the "baby fence" and stood there for about 10 minutes all by herself (probably because she hadn't figured out how to get down yet). I never thought I would have the reaction that I did, I mean I see kids pull to stand everyday, I help them pull to stand, I teach them to pull to stand... so crying about my daughter doing it was a little unexpected, both to my husband and myself. When I thought about it a little more I realized that I didn't cry because she did it, I cried because I missed it.

I try not to be a therapist at home, and while its hard, I have really tried not to treat my daughter like a patient when it comes to her development. I try to focus more on giving my daughter opportunities and experiences like taking her to the beach, the park, and letting her explore. She'll crawl when she wants to, she'll stand when she wants to, and one day (probably soon) she will walk when she wants to. The problem is, I want to be there when she does.

I am not ready for her baby steps. More importantly, I am not ready to miss her baby steps! I want to be there for the first step, the moment when she discovers that her feet give her freedom, and her legs give her power. I don't remember what it was like to take my first steps, but I wish I did, and I want to be there for my daughter's so I can tell her exactly when and how she did it.

"The journey of 1000 miles begins with 1 step." One step, one big important step. I'm waiting for it. I'm excited for it. I'm dreading it. One baby step will lead to many baby steps, many baby steps will lead to "big girl" steps, "big girl" steps will lead to running, and once she's running, I know it won't be long before she's gone, and as Dr. Seuss so eloquently put it...oh the places she'll go! ...Baby steps.

Baby steps...

Baby steps... I'm not quite ready for those baby steps yet, even though it may mean that she's one step closer to running her first race with her mother.

Murphy's Law

“Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” Runners know this oh so well. Today I ran my 7^th half marathon, but I came really close to not running it at all.

Lucia has been battling colds and ear infections on and off for about a month now, and while I know that I should be grateful that she lasted six months without really ever getting sick, her being under the weather has been taking an enormous toll on my nerves. I hate it when she’s sick. I feel so helpless and totally not in control. I try my best not to freak out, but she’s my little princess, and I get so incredibly nervous when it comes to her health.

On Monday she finished up a week’s treatment of antibiotics. She was doing much better. On Wednesday Jason came down with a hideous stomach bug that had him out of commission for about 36 hours. Of course, psycho mom over here wouldn’t let him touch the baby because I was so worried that she’d catch something else. So Lucia and I went about our normal routine (work, daycare, work, daycare, etc.) for the rest of the week. By Thursday evening all was well in the Neves household and we began making plans for the race weekend.

Jason and I had miraculously found a babysitter for tonight (date-night will have to wait for now) and we were making plans for our first date in a few months. I don’t normally work on Fridays so my plan was to clean up around the house, run some errands, and pick up my race packet. Friday morning, when I got Lucia up for her first bottle, I noticed that she had a little more gunk in left eye than usual. I brushed it off thinking that she laid on it a certain way during the night and brought her downstairs to feed her. That night at dinner Jason so eloquently said “She’s got this green eye booger.” He confirmed what I was afraid of… the little munchkin had pink-eye.

So there we were at 7:00pm, a baby with symptoms obviously consistent with conjunctivitis, and nothing that we could do about it. Our pediatrician was probably about 45 minutes away, and definitely was not in the office that late. So we took her to the Urgent Care. Luckily they were open, and they were quick. By 8:00pm we were out of there with a prescription for some eye drops.

I laid in bed last night cursing the parents who bring their kids to daycare sick. I was so angry. It seems like it has been one thing after another with Lucia and every time I get her better she comes back with something else. I was livid. I toyed with the idea of not running the race, heck , I toyed with the idea of becoming a stay-at-home Mom and quitting my job. I was so upset about her getting sick all the time that all these crazy thoughts were running through my head.

So ,to make a very long story, just a little bit shorter. I ran the race, except I ran sick. The second the race started I realized I had caught whatever it was that Jason had earlier in the week. I had to stop running to throw up twice, and somehow finished in my best time for a half marathon since 2007 by just less than 5 minutes. Instead of enjoying my victory and hanging out with my husband and baby, I curled up in the fetal position on the couch and hoped that whatever was in my system would go away soon. And, on top of everything else, I think I have conjunctivitis in one eye too. I've been in laying down since I got back from the race, Jason has been running around like a mad man taking care of the Lucia and making sure I stay hydrated. Since I am tired of sleeping (is that possible) I figured I would get up and blog a little, it can be very therapeutic at times.

Anyway, whatever could go wrong, went wrong. But I stuck through it. Sometimes running through adversity can teach you a few lessons. I know that I can push my body, I probably shouldn’t, but I know that I can do it. And, if I can keep running, I can certainly keep working (not that I really entertained the whole stay-at-home Mom thing for more than 2 seconds). Running today made me feel awful, but it gave me a little gut check (literally and metaphorically). Lucia is going to get sick, Jason and I are going to miss our date-nights every now and then, I’m going to get tired, there will be rough weeks, and there will be great weeks. You’re never going to see the light at the end of the tunnel if you quit and turn around. You just have to find the energy to keep going!

Marathon #5: Part Deux

It’s funny how the only time this week that I’ve been able to sit down and blog is during the Super Bowl. If you know me well, you know that this is entirely uncharacteristic of me to be distracted from the world’s most important game! But, life has changed.

Life has changed so much that:

-Waking up at 6:45am is sleeping in.

-When the house smells like pureed sweet potatoes, it smells good.

-Going out with our friends for dollar beers and dollar hot dogs is a great Saturday night and the fact that we are in bed by 9pm on a Saturday night is even better.

-Going out on Saturday night is a miracle.

-I use the word “Poopy” at least 80 times a day.

-Either Jason, Lucia or I have had a cold/flu/fever/cough/ear infection for the past 75 days.

-It takes all day to clean our house. It stays clean for 65 seconds.

-I have to schedule everything. EVERYTHING. If its not on the agenda… its not happening, and even if it is on the agenda, there’s no guarantee its going to actually happen.

-Lucia’s laugh makes me crack up hysterically no matter how often I hear it.

-I like the taste of Gerber’s Apple flavor baby cereal and I consider mixing some for myself in the morning before I go to work.

-I can’t really remember a time that Jason and I weren’t married, or that Lucia wasn’t a part of our lives.

-We’re really happy. Who would have thought that moving further South was a good thing (I’m saving a little more on this topic for another post… I have a lot to say about this!)

-It doesn’t take me 25 minutes to get out of bed anymore, the second I hear Lucia on the monitor, I am up and ready to go. She’s the most reliable alarm clock ever!

-Life is glorious.

So, yes, life has changed in very good way. I know it may seem like I’m complaining, but I don’t mean to be. I actually wouldn’t have it any other way. It just makes blogging about my little running escap

ades a little harder than I thought it would be. So here I am, writing whatever thought comes to mind, and glancing over my computer every other 5 minutes just to make sure the Packers are still winning (Sorry Steeler Fans, I’m a die hard Cowboys fan, and the Steelers winning this game just isn’t good for America’s team).

So lets get back to Marathon #5; The Disney World Marathon. My previous entry was about MY race, but I wanted to make sure I wrote a little bit about the actual race itself. My overall impression… AWESOME. If you have fond memories of Disney as a child this race is for you. Every mile was enjoyable, there was plenty of entertainment, and there were surprisingly a lot of spectators. The water/aid stations were great, almost at every mile. There were bananas,

oranges, and candy at about every 3 miles (unfortunately I didn’t opt to grab any). There were probably about six GU stations in the last half of the race. And, I’m going to guestimate about 7-8 medical stations complete with barrels of biofreeze and vaseline. It was very well run, and very well organized.

The race course was wonderful, it took you through all of the Disney World parks beginning and ending with Epcot. The race started with awesome fireworks (and we all know how much I love fireworks). There are Disney characters all along the way and fabulous photo ops! I had a wonderful time, my family really enjoyed it, and reliving some of my greatest childhood memories on a 26.2 mile adventure was priceless! It definitely brought out my inner child!

My one piece of advice for anyone who wants to run this race is to run it for fun. Run with Mickey Mouse ears, stop and take your pictures with all the characters on the way, and take some extra time to enjoy the scenery. It’s a flat, fast course so you’re going to run well, but if you don’t take the time to enjoy it, you’ll regret it later. Since this was my comeback race, and my competitive side got the best of me, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I should have. The only picture I have of me with a character is when I crossed the finish line and Donald Duck gave me a high five. I don’t have a picture of me in front of the magic kindom in my race gear, I sped through Epcot, and I pretended like I didn’t want anything to do with Sleeping Beauty when I saw her at mile 11 (she is my favorite princess of all time). So, if you’re running the 2012 Disney, enjoy it! That will be my plan, at least! I have two more races this year to take seriously. When I do the 2012 Goofy challenge (13.1 miles on Saturday and 26.2 on Sunday of marathon weekend) I will be taking it slow and easy, and enjoying every minute of it!:)

Marathon #5: Part I

I’m back! I have been meaning to write this latest post for about two weeks now, but I’m going to have to chalk it up to technical difficulties and leave it at that. The good news, or bad news depending on how you look at it, I have a lot more to write about now… so we’re going to have to break this up into two parts.

Seventeen days ago I finished my 5^th marathon in 4:58:44. It didn’t go as planned, and I didn’t meet my goal time, but I had a whole lot of fun. For about 20 miles I was running with a huge smile on my face. At mile 20 the pain set in, and for 6 miles I pushed through possibly the worst cramping I’ve felt since Lucia was born. I can’t really say that I hit the wall at mile 20. I’ve hit the wall before, and I know what it feels like, and this wasn’t it. This was different.

I’ve had almost three weeks to reflect on what happened throughout those long 26.2 miles. Believe me I have analyzed, over-analyzed, every single step. After the initial moment of triumph that I felt when I saw Jason holding Lucia up in the air to see me cross the finish line I have to admit, I beat myself up a little. I made so many rookie mistakes.

I had a game plan. I was going to run the first 2 miles slow, at an 11:00 minute pace (that wouldn’t be too hard, the start is always slow, you’re moving around people and passing all the walkers). Then I would speed up to a 10:30 pace up until about mile 5, and run a 10:15 until about mile 10. Then I planned to speed up to a 10:00 mile at least until the half and try to maintain that as long as I could. It was a great plan, so why didn’t I follow it?

I ran the first two miles pretty slow. And as planned, at mile 2 I started to pick it up. The problem was, I picked it up a little too much. I glanced down at my Garmin at about mile 6 and all of a sudden I was running almost a 9 minute mile. I thought that it was a mistake, and my watch was just being goofy for a second, but that wasn’t the case. Mistake #1: I didn’t slow down. I felt great, I felt wonderful, I felt unstoppable. I saw my Dad and my grandmother a little bit before the 10 mile marker and my Dad shouted “You’re doing great Deborah, you’re doing great.” I smiled, shouted that “I feel awesome!!!!” and sped up a little more as we entered the Magic Kingdom. The whole time I’m thinking, “Man, not only am I going to make my goal time, but I’m going to blow my PR out of the water.” So I kept speeding up, and I kept a good stride. At about mile 12 my legs started to feel really tight. Mistake #2: I didn’t stop to stretch. I kept on going, my legs kept getting tighter, I didn’t want to stop, and I was determined to get my PR (remember a month ago I wasn’t even going to try beat my PR). So slowing down to do something as silly as stretching, hah, that was for amateurs. At the half way mark I saw my fan club again. Dad had some cold orange slices for me, so I stopped to fuel up a bit and told him that I was starting to feel tight. “You’re way ahead of the 4:30 pace group, if they pass you, just tuck in behind them and get comfortable and just cruise your way to the finish, it’s all heart now.” Great advice, seriously, I’m not being sarcastic here. But, the 4:30 pace group, could I do it? Mistake #3: I started to doubt myself. The mind games began. I had run the half in under 2:15. When I crossed the check-point I was on pace to finish at 4:29… plenty of room to play with, at least enough to make my 4:45 goal. Yeah, in 2 miles I went from “determined to get my PR” to easily making my goal. So I kept going, I knew I was slowing down, but the 4:30 pace group hadn’t caught up to me yet. At about mile 15 I really started to feel my legs giving up. The 4:30 pace group had passed me. Cardiovascularly I was fine, I wasn’t even breathing hard. But my legs, my best assets, my strongest parts, were betraying me. I kept making deals with myself, I’d tell myself that if I could run to the next water stop I would get a minute break to walk. That soon changed to, run a mile, walk a minute. And then finally run 5 minutes, walk a minute. At mile 20 as we were coming up on a small hill, my hamstrings just stopped working. This terrible sharp pain shot right up into my lower back and I could not bend my legs. I was done. Mistake #4: I gave up. I got scared. Yeah, I had done the training, finished all my long runs, and I had done this many many many times before... I still got scared. This was my 5^th marathon, but this was my first marathon as a Mommy. For four months of training I refused to let that be an excuse, for four months I looked past the extra weight I was carrying, the joint pain, and the clumsiness that just didn’t go away once my belly was gone like I thought it would. But, in the end all of that was enough to freak me out. Whether I like it or not, there are inevitable physiological changes that happen to a woman when she has a baby, and while it is completely possible to run a marathon 6 months after giving birth, I was kidding myself to think that it wouldn’t be a different experience. My hips are larger, my core musculature isn’t quite back to normal yet, and there is a lot more on my mind now when I run (after all, I am a Mom). And all of these things can have an enormous effect on performance.

So while, I’ve been beating myself up about my time, I still feel like I accomplished something really great. It’s time now to look at the bright side of things. Like Lucia saw me run a marathon as a six month old (In Disney World none-the-less). It wasn’t my best time, but it wasn’t my slowest. It was only 20 seconds slower than the last marathon I finished before I got pregnant (when I was 5 lbs lighter than I am now). I escaped the whole endevour injury free (after a few days of ice, tylenol, and rest). I am still running. I am still shrinking (4 lbs less than my pre-pregnancy weight, 15 lbs away from my goal). I’ve got another marathon coming up in May. And Lucia saw me run a marathon! Wait did I mention that already…

Part Deux coming soon

DISNEY!

It’s been a while since my last post. I had every intention of keeping up with weekly entries about this whole marathon process but as Lucia gets older, the less time I have. On Sunday she will be 6 months old and on Sunday I will complete my first full marathon since May 2009.

While I haven’t been keeping up with my blog, I have been keeping up with my training, and I AM READY! Tonight I finished my last “real run” before the race. I ran a quick little three miler and plan on jogging one or two miles on Saturday just to keep my legs loose. I’ve been tapering for about 3 weeks now and I feel really energized. These short runs don’t even phase me now.

Three weeks ago I ran twenty miles in 3 hours and 35 minutes. Not too shabbyJ! Jason met me with some orange G2 gatorade after my run and was surprised that I wasn’t even breathing hard. He got on my case and told me I wasn’t pushing myself hard enough, and he was probably right. See, when I began training for my post-baby comeback race I automatically set a goal to finish the race in 4 hours and 45 minutes. I kept telling myself to take it easy, and I took things pretty slow in the beginning. With time I got stronger and naturally got faster. Losing a little bit of weight also helped shave a few seconds off my mile time too. But when it came down to the last half of my training schedule, I’ll admit that I phoned it in a little.

Most experts will say that its okay to take it slow, especially when you’re training for an endurance event. Hal Higdon will tell you its all about the mileage; It’s simple, you run the miles, do the training program, and you’ll run a good race. But if you want to get faster, you have to run faster.

I’m pretty confident I can make my 4:45 goal, and now I’m wishing that I set my standards a little higher. I’m trying to tell myself not to be dissapointed with anything less than 4:45, but as competitive as I am, I’m finding it really hard to fight the urge to take-off fast and aim for a 4:30 pace.

So, to help me fight that urge to run fast, there is already another marathon in the works. With the support of my family and friends, I’ll be running my second marathon of the year in Buffalo, NY on May 29^th. If I don’t set personal record at Disney, I will most definitely have a personal best in May. But, for now, let’s focus on Disney!

FOUR MORE DAYS! In four more days I’ll be hitting the pavement again alongside thousands of other runners just like me who spent hundreds of early morning, late night, and lunch time hours running. Some will run faster than me, some will run slower, and some will run right by my side matching every breath and every step for approximately 285 minutes. While I will admire everyone who finishes the race, I will be sending some extra good vibes to my fellow mommies who will be running this thing with me. Running in itself is hard, but being a mother runner, that’s really hard!

I have friends that ask me how I do it. A lot of people can’t understand how I find the time. To be honest, in the beginning, I didn’t really know if I would have the time. Lucia has always been my number one priority, and running will forever be a distant second to her. But the time I spent running in the past few months is easily justifiable when I think about the kind of example I am setting for her. I love her so much and as I have said before in my blogs, she is the best inspiration anyone could have! But, aside from my daughter there is one more person who has kept me going. Well, “kept me going” is probably an understatement. I mentioned before that when I finished my 20 miler Jason was waiting for me with a gatorade and was a little dissapointed with my effort. “You ran that in 3:35? You’re not even tired! You’re not pushing yourself enough, you can work harder, you can run faster than that!” Most women would have been insulted by his comments. I wasn’t, deep down I knew that I could have run faster. That’s the beauty of our relationship. He pushes me! So, how do I have the time to do it?… I have a very supportive, patient, and motivating husband. When I would take off on three hour runs on Sunday mornings, Jason would watch the baby. He would take care of everything. He would bring the baby out to the front porch to cheer me on when I was lapping the neighborhood or hold her by the treadmill so I could give her a kiss mid-run. One morning he made me a cinnamon coffee crumble cake for my post-run breakfast (impressive right, even if it was out of a box). I could not have done any of this without him.

So, here we go! Disney Marathon weekend is here. When I ran my first marathon in 2007, I ran for me. On Sunday I will be running for Lucia, and when I cross the finish line I’ll hang the Mickey Mouse medal over her head and we’ll celebrate her 6 month birthday. On Sunday I will be running for Jason, and thanking God every step of the way for giving me such a wonderful husband. On Sunday I will be running for us, running for our little family, and looking forward to all of the events (athletic and non-athletic) that we will share with each other in the future. I love you Jason and Lucia! WE’RE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!

She ain't heavy, she's a mother!

Today I’ll be finishing a recovery week with a 10 mile run this afternoon. I have been steadily running over 20 miles a week, and last week I ran a total of 25 miles, with a 13 mile run on Sunday. All the mileage is starting to add up now, and 7 mile runs are starting to feel like 3 mile runs, and 10 mile runs are starting feel as easy as 5 mile runs felt a month ago.  Coming up this week, 4 mile, 7 mile, and 3 mile runs, followed by a 15 miler next Sunday. On Tuesday my Lucia will be 4 months old.  And on Tuesday I will have exactly 2 more months until the Disney marathon.

I really can’t believe how fast this year has gone. A year ago this weekend we announced to our immediate family that we were expecting.  The holidays came and went, I started a new job, and sure enough Lucia was here before we knew it. I thought that life would slow down a little once she was born, but I was wrong.  These last four months have flown by. Lucia is getting so big and so strong, and although life has changed significantly in the last year, my husband and I couldn’t be happier.

By now, most everyone I know has figured out that I’m running this marathon, if I hadn’t told them already. But now that everyone knows, there’s no shortage of people offering their opinions about my running, my ability to run, or whether or not they think I should be running at all. For the most part my family is supportive, but I can tell you that even my father questioned whether or not I was getting “back in the game” too quickly. Last week one of my co-workers watched me try to covertly adjust my slightly tight pre-pregnancy khaki’s and then turned to me and said, “So when is this marathon you say your training for?” When I told him it was in January he quipped, “Setting some lofty goals for yourself, huh?” I just smiled, told him that I felt pretty good about my chances, and shrugged it off. I’m pretty sure he was questioning the shape that I was in, and it got me feeling a little self-conscious about the fact that although my pre-pregnancy khakis  zipped and buttoned up just fine, I guess they didn’t look as good on me as they used to.  But seriously, what woman looks good in khakis anyway? I only wear them because I have to.  Sometimes I don’t think men realize how sensitive new Moms can be about their bodies, but I do have to thank him in part for entering a new level in my training this past week.

As I said my mileage is steadily increasing and up until last week my focus has been to just finish my runs.  I always try to set a time goal, and come as close to a 10 minute mile as possible, but in the end I just want to finish the run. Well, that has now changed!  I upped my game a little for my last five runs, running at a 9:30/mile pace. When I finished my 13 miler last Sunday, I ran it faster than I had run my 12 miler the week before.  I am sore, I am very tired, and at the same time I feel wonderful.  I can finally say that I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight, can fit into most of my clothes, and I am happy.  

I don’t look like a runner, and I am not skinny. I do need to lose more weight (those extra 8 lbs I put on before I even got pregnant). But hey, I can run. I can run far. I can push my baby all around this neighborhood and not get tired. I am a Mommy, and if you don’t like the few extra pounds I have accumulated from bringing a beautiful baby girl into the world, you don’t have to look! It took me a long time to realize that you don’t need to be a size zero to be a runner. There really isn’t a typical runner’s body.  But there is a runner’s mind, and I have it.  I will run in two months, and I will be ready.  I will finish 26.2 miles with a smile on my face, because this body, fat or not, can do it! So, thank you Mr. “Lofty Goals” for giving me a little push to work that much harder, I may not be the size you think a marathon runner should be, but I AM A RUNNER, and I can run circles around you.

Conquering Chicago

I haven’t been keeping up with my blog lately, in fact I’ve just been trying to keep up with life. I just started working again full time, and this week was Lucia’s first in daycare.  As expected, everything went as planned, Lucia did wonderfully, I made it through the week, and like most Mommies, crashed into a deep sleep once the week was over.  Lucia is still magically sleeping through the night which makes everything tremendously easier.

Surprisingly enough I have been able to keep up with my running. It’s my fifth week of training for the Disney Marathon and I was able to pull off a 3 mile, 5 mile, and 3 mile run this week, all while trying to fight off a cold. On Sunday I have to run 10 miles, again, the furthest I’ve run in almost a year.  I’ve had to run on the treadmill a lot so that I can make sure to watch the baby at the same time, but I am finally starting to feel good and I am keeping a steady 10 minute mile pace. Lucia still smiles as she watches me run and go nowhere, and when she gets bored she plays in her gym right next to me.  

My first day back at work went pretty smoothly, and as the week progressed I knew that being a working mom would be tough, but completely worth it.  While I love my child more than anything in this world, I love my job too. By Wednesday, however, the guilt started to kick in. I work in both the pediatric and orthopedic settings, but pediatrics is my passion and I love working with children with special needs. I love my little kiddos at work, but I have days when I feel bad that I’m looking after other people’s children when my own child is across the street being looked after by someone else.  So in a moment of weakness, and after my 12:45 patient cancelled, I emailed my Dad (yes, I’m 27 years old and I still run to Daddy when the going gets tough, I hope Lucia will be the same way with Jason) to vent my frustrations. Like always, my Dad has the best advice.  In his reply email he wrote two things that he has told me before, and I need to always remember; “As I've always told you, you CAN have it all -- you just have to work harder to make it all come together,” and “You will do fine, and you will be a great Mother -- you have a great example!”

I’ll tackle the latter statement first.  I do have a great example.  My mom is truly the quintessential “Super Mom.” When we were young my Mom was a teacher, a Department of Defense award winning teacher actually. She too took care of other children while someone else watched my brother and I. My Mom loved her students, and she poured her heart and soul into teaching. When I look back on my childhood I never once felt neglected, or like Mom never spent time with us.  In fact I felt really lucky to be the daughter of everyone’s favorite teacher.  Most importantly, my Mom made the time that she did spend with us count, whether it was dressing me up like a princess, carting me to t-ball, or shopping in Itaewon for big huge stuffed animals. My mom was/is the best. Not only is she a good example of a mother, but she is a good example of a person.  I used to be insulted when someone would tell me I was just like my mother, now I take it as a compliment.  Sometimes Jason will catch me doing something just  like she does and says “You are JUST like her.” And I just look at him, smile, and say, “Well, then you are one lucky guy!” I love you Mom, when I run like a mother, I think of all the things you have sacrificed for me, thank you for everything that you have done, and everything you continue to do for me and our family.

Now, back to my Dad. It’s true. He has always told me that I can have it all. And at times, I have found that hard to believe. But if there is anyone who knows about “having it all” it’s my Dad. If you know my Dad you know that there is nothing he does that he doesn’t put 100% of his entire being into. Everything he has ever set his mind to, he has done.  For example, he used to tell me that when he was a little boy his goal was to conquer the world. He is now a thriving international business man, has been for over 20 years, and continues to travel all over the world kicking butt and taking names.  For lack of a better term my Dad is a “bad-ass.” The best thing about my Dad is that on his way to the top, he was always a father and a husband before anything else.  And every once in a while, Dad took time for himself too. 

When we lived in Spain my Dad started training for his first marathon. He would get up and run early in the morning before anyone else woke up so that his running wouldn’t take away any time from being with his family. I was 16 years old when I saw him cross the finish line of the Madrid Marathon, and I was so proud. He was a machine. 

Years came and went, and in 2007 my Dad started training again. Coincidentally that was the year I ran my first marathon.  I remember my Dad joining me at mile 19. There was a hill called the Calvert climb in DC and up until that point I had run the entire race only stopping at water stations. That hill broke me down! But my Dad helped me push through it. For the next 6 miles he ran by my side and helped me push through it.  Whether it was his usual words of wisdom, or a kick in the butt, he pushed me.  About 400 yards away from the finish line my Dad left the course and let me finish the race on my own. “Finish strong,” he said.  It felt like I sprinted all the way to end, and when I crossed the finish line I was on such an adrenaline high that I felt like I could have run 2 or 3 more miles.  I frantically started looking for my family and friends who had come to cheer me on.  I found my grandparents first, hugged them and assured them that I was not dying:) Then my Mom, who was crying, made me get a little teary.  Then my Dad finally made his way through the crowd. And of course, like Daddy’s little girl, I started bawling. He wrapped me up in that tin foil looking blanket they hand you at the end of the race, hugged me, and said “Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do something, you can do anything you put your mind to.” 

I know that my Dad lives by those words. He shows it in everything he does. After that marathon my Dad and I ran the Baltimore Under Armour Marathon together, the Virginia Beach half, the Marine Corps Marathon, the Cincinnatti Flying Pig Marathon, and another hand full of halfs. In 2008 my Dad tried qualifying for the Boston Marathon, but missed out due to hamstring injury, and a poor tape job from his daughter (me).  Dad has kept trying and trying and trying, and has been getting faster and faster and faster. Failure has never been an option for him! My Dad is STILL a machine, and this weekend Dad is running the Chicago marathon, and will (the power of positive thinking is great, another lesson my Dad taught me) finish in less than 3 hours and 35 minutes. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to see him do it.  But I will take off on my 10 mile run tomorrow and I will pretend like I’m running with him (hoping that he is running much faster than I will be)  and pushing him through the final miles, just like he pushed me a few years ago. I know my Dad will do it, after all, my Dad has conquered the world.  Conquering Chicago will be easy!

To my parents: Thank you for teaching me the importance of hard work, making me the person who I am, a decent wife (I hope), and good mother… and helping me be a better runner too.  Let’s conquer Chicago this weekend… then it’s onto Boston in the Spring!!!!

Inspiration

"Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks."
~Johann Gottfried Von Herder

This week I began my third week of training for the Disney Marathon in January. On Saturday I ran 7 miles, the longest distance I have run since December 12, 2009. It took me exactly 70 minutes to complete it, not a second longer, and it was possibly the most arduous 7 miles I have run to date.  

That morning, Lucia was being quite fussy. For the 18^th night in row she had slept through the night, and while I count my blessings every day that she is such a wonderful baby, her very adult sleeping habits make for some very long days. I was beginning to realize that my run would have to be put on hold for a little while.

I had originally planned to run outside while my husband, Jason, watched her, but he had go into work last minute to take care of some paper work .  I knew Lucia wanted to get outside for a bit.  I could see it in her eyes. So, I took her for a little walk in the jogger to calm her down and waited for Jason to get home.  It was beginning to get hotter outside, and by 9 am it was already 90 degrees.  Jason wasn’t back yet.  So I decided that these 7 miles would have to be run on the treadmill.  Yes, I would be running 7 miles on a treadmill. Now, to some, 7 miles on a treadmill may not sound that bad. However, most runners will tell you that running on treadmill is not only physically exhausting, but mentally exhausting as well.  Unfortunately, (or fortunately, however you chose to look at it) it had to get done and I moved Lucia’s gym mat into our recreation room and I started running.

The 7 miles were hard and they were long. I kept looking over at Lucia watching me from the floor.  At times it seemed like she was laughing at me, almost like she was saying “This woman is crazy, running all this time and going nowhere.”  And, she was right. I was going nowhere, but my mind was going all over the place trying to find reasons to stick with it.  I had to find motivation to keep going, stride after stride, mile after mile, on a very boring and squeaky treadmill.  I had to find inspiration.

With my daughter playing next to me as I ran, finding inspiration wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be.  One of my favorite quotes is one by Walt Streightiff; “There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million."  As she looked up and smiled at me I knew that I was one of her 7 million wonders, and that made me run harder.  My will to always be one of her wonders, made me stronger.  Her love for me made me confident.  I began to realize that while I was running for her and because of her, she was the one making me a better and stronger runner!  I realized that she was the best inspiration a mother could have, and a million miles on the treadmill would be possible as long as she was smiling next to me.

I finished the 7 miles, and it was hard. My body hurt, and today my body still hurts.  But my heart is happy.  And so I will keep running. 

This week is my third week of training, my third week of a quest to prove to my daughter and to myself that mommies can do it all. These next 16 weeks will be hard and tiresome, but when it gets tough I know that I can draw on my little 10 pound bundle of inspiration to get me through. 

So here is lesson #1 for my little Lucia: Find your inspiration… let it move you, let it drive you, and let it guide you in everything that you do!

Running For Lucia

I thought long and hard about what I would title this blog.  I looked through many different pages, websites, and runner’s blogs to see if anything would inspire me.  I found several “fitmommies”, “motherrunners”, “marathonmoms”, and “marathonmamas” and was disappointed when I realized that most of my ideas had already been taken.  Then I thought about why I decided to start writing this blog in the first place.  I decided to write it for my 2 month old daughter Lucia.  In fact, I run for my daughter Lucia.  Actually, everything I do now I do for Lucia.

So there you have it…Running For Lucia!

You see, three years ago I ran my first marathon.  My reasons for running back then were very different. I was very athletic growing up. My parents were athletic, I was always around active people, and my social life seemed to always revolve around some type of athletic activity.  I played every sport you can imagine in high school, but volleyball was my passion and I played a short stint of volleyball in college.  I hated running.  The most we would ever run was suicide drills and the occasional 2k loop from the Lilly Athletic Center around College Street and Locust Street. When it came time to run our timed mile, which our coach wanted us to run in under 8 minutes, the best I could do was 8:21. I could set, I could spike, I could sprint, and when I would jump-serve I looked like I was flying through the air. But, I couldn’t run an 8 minute mile. I HATED running. In February of my senior year in college I found out that I had been accepted into Duke University School of Medicine’s Doctor of Physical Therapy program.  My focus quickly changed. I became so immersed in preparing for Duke that I forgot what it was that actually got me into the program in the first place. When I began my first semester of graduate school I did nothing but study, eat, and sleep (well, mainly study and eat) and sent myself into a spiral of unhealthy habits. The studying wasn’t going very well either and I was beginning to believe that there was such a thing as studying too much. By the end of that semester I had gained 25 lbs. Now, that in itself seems like a lot of weight, but add that to my small boned 5’3 frame and you realize how enormous that weight gain is.  I remember thinking that my days as an athlete were over. I knew that I had to do something to get control of my life again. I started working out, lifting weights mostly, and running/jogging/walking on the treadmill for cardio workouts. That summer I ran a 5k just for fun.  The weight was starting to come off, I was starting to look and act like myself again, and I was doing much better in school. One day I was running the loop around Duke’s East campus and I just decided out of the blue that I wanted to run a marathon. My plan was to train for one, run one, finish one, and just be happy enough that I could put myself into the elite category of people who can say that they have completed a grueling 26.2 miles.  

On March 24^th, 2007, I finished the National Marathon in Washington DC in a respectable time of 4 hours 30 minutes and 29 seconds.  I was addicted, I wanted to run more and more and more and more. I had gone from hating running to not knowing what I would do without it. My runs became my time to de-stress, my time to think about my day, my time to think about what I had accomplished, and my time to think about what I had yet to accomplish. Graduate school was all of a sudden easier, I was getting better grades, I was excelling in my clinical work, and I still had time to stay healthy and SANE. By the time I graduated from Duke I had run 4 marathons and 5 half marathons . I had met the love of my life, was in the best shape of my life, and had completed my clinical doctorate degree. Everything in my life had fallen into place, and I believed that it had all started with running. I was running for me.  I was running for my sanity, I was running to stay in shape, and I was running to feel good about myself. I was running for me. I RAN FOR ME.

On July 11^th, 2009 I made the best decision of my life, much better than the decision to become a runner. I married my best friend!  Our first year of marriage proved to be whirlwind of events and emotions. We knew pretty early that we wanted to have children. The problem was, with all this running, I wasn’t ovulating. I thought something was wrong with me. I was by no means a skinny girl, in fact I would say that I was a little on the heavier side. I had strong legs and strong arms, and was this little stout power house. But, the running was starting to take a toll on my system.  My OB suggested that I cut down on the running and see what happened. So, I cut down.  Instead of training for a full marathon that winter like I had planned, I just trained for a half.  

November 4^th, 2009: Two pink lines!  We were pregnant!  And, by cutting down on my running I was barely pregnant and already had gained 8 lbs. The excitement of my pregnancy quickly turned into concern about my body, and about my running. I was supposed to run a half marathon in Kiawah Island on December 12^th.   So with my doctors approval, I continued to run. I ran a half marathon 9 weeks pregnant.  I took it slow and finished with my husband by my side in 2 hours and 40 minutes.  Except this time it was different.  I wasn’t concerned about my terribly slow time, I wasn’t concerned about how pudgy I looked for pictures, and I wasn’t concerned that I probably wouldn’t run 13.1 miles again for a very long time. I felt incredibly accomplished. I had carried my child with me every step of the way.  She had run that distance with me, and she had crossed the finish line with me.  It was then that I realized that my reasons for running were beginning to change.

I continued to run short distances until I was 5 months pregnant when my OB advised me to stop. For selfish reasons I did not want to stop, but I did. I was, however, allowed to walk as much as I wanted to, and I continued to walk the mileage I had been running. I had family members who didn’t understand it; people thought that I was hurting the baby by doing so much activity. I’ll be honest and admit that I was insulted every time someone questioned my being active during my pregnancy. No one seemed to understand that what I was doing was good for my child. On July 7^th, 2010… after a very healthy and uneventful pregnancy, I was induced. I had walked four miles the day before, not realizing that I was about to complete the marathon of all marathons; 49 hours and 39 minutes of labor. On July 9^th at 9:39 pm, my daughter, Deborah Lucia, was born.  She was this little 6 lbs 13 oz bundle of joy, and she came out fighting.  She was tiny, but she was so strong already, and I couldn’t help thinking that she was just like her momma!  I remember the doctors praising me for all the activity that I did while I was pregnant, while it did not make the labor any shorter (as people often say activity does) my body wasn’t as depleted as one would think after 49 hours of it.  And Lucia was healthy and beautiful and perfect.

Three days after giving birth, I was walking 3-4 miles a day again. Two weeks later, with my doctor’s blessing, I began running again, and I was feeling great. Lucia was still too young and too little to take her with me, so I would run when my mother could watch her (Thanks Mom!) or when my husband got home from work. When she was about 4 weeks old I took her out in the jogger with me.  The first run I did with her was slow, partly because I was getting used to running with the jogger, and partly because I am an over-protective new mother that crawled over every little bump in the road that we came across.

It has since gotten easier.  Lucia is now 11 weeks old and she loves running with me.  In fact sometimes I have to take her for a run because it’s the only thing that calms her down.  I have begun training for my 5^th marathon, and am 3 lbs away from my pre-baby weight.

After everything, I am still running. But today I am not running for me. I am running for Lucia. I am running because by running I am a better mother for her.  I am running because by running I set a good example for her. I am running because it makes her laugh, I am running because it makes her smile, I am running because she lets me, and I am running because she runs with me. With every mile I complete, I show my daughter everything a woman and a mother CAN do, instead of letting her think that motherhood is an excuse for the things that women say they can’t do. So today I RUN FOR LUCIA, and I hope that one day she can look back and say “I learned a lot from my runs with Mom.”